Another possibility
by Kitiara81
Summary: Alternative end to "Nights in the clearing" Edward was too late to rescue his love


**Warning! Don´t read if you liked the "Jake is alive" end**

I couldn´t hear his heartbeat any longer.

One of the wolves helped me to resuscitate Jake "Breath Jacob" I pleaded again and again. I did the chest compressions and counted 28, 29, 30 Embry gave him rescue breaths. We already did that for a while when Sam touched Embrys arm "stop it" he said "it´s too late!" Sam pulled him into a strong embrace and I saw the tears in the wolfs eyes.

I still tried to bring Jake back to life how could they give u? "C´mon Jake. You have to breathe" I cried.

I know it want help, but I have to try it. I bit him to bring my venom in his bloodstream and went on with compressions and giving rescue breaths. Maybe it will work, with every fiber of my body I was hoping it would work.

Than Carlisle arrived, when he saw my desperate attempts he asked Sam "How long has he been doing this?" Sam looked at Jakes body and then back to Carlisle "It must be nearly an hour until now. He won´t let him go!" My father nodded and touched softly my shoulder "Let me see if there is something I can do for him!" I only took moments until he shook his head "I´m sorry Edward but there is nothing I can do. He is dead!"

Some of the wolves snarled but jakes alpha-order held them back, even if they wished to kill all of us instantly.

I pulled the lifeless body close to mine and wasn´t able to accept that he is really gone. "Don´t take him away Sam" I begged. He only nodded and sent most of their pack back to La Push. They all were ordered not to say anything about what happened. The public version was that Jake had an accident with his motor cycle only the tribe eldest should know that it was a vampire attack, but they should think it was a stranger, some nomads that crossed our territory.

Sam left to bring the sad news to Billy, Seth and Embry stayed and watched me while I still held the dead body of their friend in my arms.

Alice told my family about the imprint but still no one knows that I just realized that I truly love him – just hours before he planned his suicide.

If I had realized his plan earlier, I could have stopped him

If I hadn´t done all those mistakes

If I had told him how I feel

If I had never met him at all

If I hadn´t been so stubborn

All because of me, so much sadness, so many deeply hurt people, Jacobs dead was so unreasonable and all because he didn´t listen to me.

I won´t let him go. I can´t let him go!

When Sam brought Billy my family drew me away from my beloved Jacob and Sam took him into the truck to bring him home to La Push so his friends and family could see him once more.

When they left I fell on the ground, Esme tried to ease me but I pushed her away and ran upstairs to my room. I needed to be alone – alone with my pain and my memories.

The next three days I sat on my bed and stared straight forward without seeing, without moving, without speaking I only stared and imagined what would be if Jake had survived. Than Alice went into my room without knocking, she gave me a black tuxedo "It´s time Edward" she said.

I get dressed and followed her to the car, we drove to the small graveyard in La Push, we had Sam's permission to come to the funeral. I watched the ceremony in silence and waited until the last one had left.

I stood in front of his tomb and thought about Jake and all the others I love. My father Carlisle who gave me a new life, Esme who has always been like a mother to me, my brothers and sisters, especially on Alice with her wonderful, pixie like nature. I remembered my time with Bella and then my thoughts wandered back to Jacob.

I left the cemetery and ran the way to Sam's house, he wasn´t there so I followed his scent and found him finally in Jakes garage where he sat on the floor next to Jacobs's car. I fell on my knees and lowered my head. "I offer you a life for a life" But he only shook his head and answered "Even if I wanted to an order is an order. Jake told us to secure your family and you know that!"

"If everything would be like Jake imagined it I wouldn´t be a Cullen any longer, I´ll be a Black, so the order means nothing" I tried to convince him "I can´t life without him Sam" I nearly cried - again.

"You´ll have to" he replied

I didn´t want to do this but now I had no other opportunities. I raced back to his house where Emily waited for him. She knows the truth about Jake and me – at least the imprint part. She wasn´t surprised to see me.

"I know how you feel, I loved Jacob too. And I know how deep the bond to him must be for you, it´s like Sam and I. I can´t imagine to life without him. I really wish I could help you"

I smiled "You´re the only one who can help me. I swear I won´t hurt you. Just trust me!" I whispered, than I grabbed her arm and pulled her against my chest. When Sam was around the corner I said " I can´t life without Jacob, would you life without your Emily?" he saw her in my hold, my teeth near her neck and order or not that was too much for him. He phased immediately. I pushed Emily to the side, she really shouldn´t get hurt accidently

He was over me just a second later and the last words I have ever said were "Thank you" And then darkness and the knowledge to see my Jacob again.


End file.
